Manage your emotions to solve problems: here are the tips that work!
Emotions are not just states that we are forced to suffer. A few weeks ago, I talked to you about emotional intelligence and one aspect of it is to manage your emotions.
Emotions can help us solve a problem, make a decision, if we pay enough attention and listen to what they have to say. By their manifestation, the emotions are primarily intended to provide information. They must be decoded and used in situations of everyday life or at work.
Here are some steps to follow to better use your emotions and develop your abilities in this area.
Manage your emotions: start by learning how to recognize them.
In the continuous stream of daily actions and obligations, we often forget the essential, our own well-being.
The very first step in managing one's emotions is to be attentive to one's own emotional state. Rather than experiencing one's emotions, one can anticipate things by being more aware of the emotion that arises in oneself. Mastering one's emotions is therefore above all an act of introspection.
Faced with a difficulty or situation that arouses feelings in you, ask yourself the following questions:
What do I feel at the moment about this challenge?
How intense is the emotion I feel?
A case in point to illustrate
Suppose your line manager asks you regularly to perform a task urgently while you are already overwhelmed. You have to leave what you are doing, at the risk of being behind important issues. Your manager will not delay to reproach you later.
In this context, what do you feel? And with what intensity? Does this make you angry, makes you irritable?
In this type of situation, you could turn a blind eye to how you feel ... telling you that the world of work is so well done! Or, you may consider that this type of request happens too frequently. So, it is difficult to control his emotions, since you want to explode.
In the first case, you completely suffer your emotions. The problem may increase without you understanding what is happening. In the second case, you realize that the situation gets worse over time. You understand exactly what's going on in you, and you can act. This way of doing things helps you better control your emotions and make the right decision.
To control your emotions, you always start by accepting them. Are you furious, happy, frustrated, irritated, amazed, or cheerful? It must be recognized to act well.
2nd step to manage your emotions: correctly interpreting the message
The next time you feel anger, fear, jealousy or joy ... do not just want to know how to control your emotions. Ask yourself: What's the need behind this feeling?
These moments of personal introspection make it possible to take a step back from the emotion, to gather some information on its needs and expectations.
Negative emotions are often a sign that you are missing something essential in your life, in your environment, or that you are ignoring a basic need.
Taking into account your own needs and desires will enable you to make good decisions. You will perceive the situation from a new angle. You will imagine a more serene and positive outcome to your situation.
You always make a scene to your man when he returns after 9 pm. It's probably because you're jealous. But why are you? What does this jealousy reveal? Could it be because he has an equivocal attitude towards other women? Is it because you lack confidence and need reassurance? Or is it because you are possessive? Whoever finds the origin of a recurring feeling controls his emotions more effectively.
3rd step to manage your emotions: exploit these feelings to progress
Mastering your emotions is a daily job. Indeed, we all feel them at different times of the day. We must use it to live better. When an emotion is joyous, it can boost you and promote well-being. But some emotions like fear, feelings of insecurity orneed to solve a problem.
Controlling your emotions requires that you try to solve a problem when it has passed. You probably know that in anger we say or do things that we do not think. Some actions that are put under the influence of emotion can hurt us. So do not forget to use your emotions intelligently to balance things out.
This is valid regardless of the emotion felt. In a moment of euphoric joy, you can make a promise that you then regret. When you are furious or jealous, you could hurt your loved ones, or even commit a crime.
Learn how to act when you are calm enough. If you have trouble exploding out of jealousy, take some real action: get out of the air instead of arguing with your spouse. Think before you punish your child instead of insulting him in the face. Use the following tips to control your emotions when they overwhelm you. Remember that in France, jealousy is a common motivation behind many crimes.
Fight the bad emotions!
Some deeply ingrained emotions in us are in fact deficiencies, which indicate that we need to rebuild ourselves emotionally. To properly manage your emotions, start by fighting against those emotional tendencies that can be destructive. These include:
Instability: Unstable people move from one extreme feeling to another. They alternate periods of depression and good mood. Under these conditions, they can be imprudent driving, and become irascible and difficult to live. Chronic instability of this type is sometimes indicative of a deeper psychological illness such as schizophrenia. If you find that your mood is very unstable, take concrete steps to get help. Otherwise, you will have a hard time managing your emotions.
Anxiety: An anxious person worries about everything, and quickly becomes a wound for his family and colleagues. I grew up with an aunt who was so anxious that she would come to our room during school hours to make sure her son was fine! Those who do not learn to reduce their anxiety will always struggle to manage their emotions. The 5 steps in this article help to overcome this unhealthy trend! Impulsiveness: an impulsive person betrays a lack of patience. In case of conflict, she never takes the time to listen to the other party. Such a reactive person drives dangerously, because it lets itself be dominated by anger. Whoever wants to control their emotions more effectively should start with a little less impulsiveness and blood.
It's your turn !
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For you, managing emotions is something obvious or totally unknown? How do you perceive how you can use your emotions to solve problems or deal with a particular situation?